There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


An Enchanting Musk

This morning when I left my bedroom to be late for work, I noticed a stench that went beyond funk to putrid and rank. It is hard to describe because the bile was already in the back of my throat after just one inhale, but I could see visible stink lines in the air. I was sure that somehow sewage had overflowed into the bathroom or that some animal had shit itself and then died and then started decaying overnight. I could find no evidence of the stink, however. I took the trash to the curb -- didn't help. Because I'm tenacious and have a high standard of personal cleanliness, I decided to just give up and hope it was gone by the time I got home. At some point after this, I bent down to give my dog Buster his morning "Who's a good boy?" head shake with all of the extra fur and skin around his neck. He looked at me and smiled and exhaled, then I realized where that stank was coming from. I guessed that he had breakfasted at the Cat Box Cafe and then eaten some trash, since he has learned how to open the lid on the trash can. He had also licked and bitten Katy a lot during Crazy Front Yard Game, so she was smelly, too. It shouldn't be a surprise since this dog eats cat vomit whenever he can find it (which is often).

In other weekend news, we watched I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, which was an excellent movie choice for a weekend when it was too hot to go outside at all. Yesterday was Brunch Day and I am now going to start every day off with two delicious Bloody Marys because it makes the rest of the day just sort of slide on by. Of course, that means dealing with the next day's episode of Drippy Butt and Booze Farts, but I think I can handle that. If you let the farts go in the stairwell on the way up to the cubicle, your cubicle doesn't stink so bad.

In other unrelated news, I don't think I'm the only person who ever suffered from alcohol-induced drippy butt who has fallen asleep sitting on the crapper.

The 3 briquettes are getting very playful, which makes the dogs very happy. Buster walks behind the kittens smelling their tiny butts so enthusiastically that he lifts them off their back feet.

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birth & death