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View My Stats, bitch.
First, my list of things my dog has eaten is incomplete. She has eaten some gross stuff since the list was made, but most of it is stuff that was already on the list, and she just can't get enough of (i.e., cat poop). What was missing from the list:
The shrimp shells left over after a boiled shrimp fest
All objects made of hard plastic that I've ever owned (e.g., toothbrushes, lint rollers, Rubbermaid containers, sunglasses, etc.)
Hair balls yakked up by a cat, which led to the following incident: I was awoken in the middle of the night by the slurpy, chokey sound of a cat about to puke up a hairball. Said cat was on top of a piece of furniture that is about 7 feet tall. She leaned over the edge to puke up the hairball, which splatted on the floor 7 feet below. One of my dogs, also aroused by this, got out of bed, ate the hairball, then went to the toilet to have a drink which lasted until he had emptied the entire toilet bowl.
This is not exactly a consumption, but my dogs once played tug-of-war with the leathery, dried remains of a dead squirrel they had found in the street.
Recently Greg claimed to have created the phrase "farty-farty-boom-boom," but when he googled it, it got about 3000 hits. Someone's not quite as clever as he thought he was.
I have mixed feelings about seeing "The Manchurian Candidate" because the first one was so good. Hollywood better never try to remake "To Kill a Mockingbird," or I'm going to have to go "out West" and kick some ass.
Yesterday I found the hole that rats are using to enter my kitchen. It's conveniently located behind the dishwasher. In the past, I have used moth balls to deter them -- who came up with this idea? The moth balls didn't even slow them down, and made all of the food in my refrigerator taste like moth balls. I stuffed the hole behind the dishwasher full of steel wool, which is supposed to be impossible for rodents to chew through. They removed the steel wool by this morning. They have recently chewed through my dishwasher drain hose, causing much wetness on the kitchen floor, and they caught on to the fact that Cheetos = death. You'd think that in a house with two dogs and (currently) 6 cats, rodents would cower and find the fastest way out. Nope. The only domestic animal that has killed a rat is Buster, who is a black Lab mix. He really showed that rat who's boss, then barked at it and played with it for a while after it was dead.
It's only 10 a.m. and I already feel the need for a cocktail. It's going to be a long day.
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