There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Silence of the Sparrows

Do you know what a shrug is? Also known occasionally as a cardi-shrug? It's a sweater, you big silly boy. A special kind of sweater. Imagine a woman: young, slender, nubile, with the freshness of youth and firm, round breasts. That was just for fun. Now imagine where a cardigan sweater goes on said imaginary woman. Now, take an imaginary pair of scissors and trim away all of the parts of the sweater that live below the armpits and most of what's in front of the sleeves. You end up with a pair of sleeves attached together across the back. Only the young and nubile can/should wear this sort of garment, by the way.

Why are you describing this, BadDogMoron? Imagine even further that the shrug is not made for the nymph you imagined above, but for a bird. A cute little feathered birdy. Chirp! OK, now go back to the shrug. I found either a bird-shaped shrug or the part of a bird where a shrug would go if the bird had an entire body on my kitchen floor when I got home from work. Hello, little birdy! Where's your head? Your torso? Your little birdy feet? In the kitty's tummy? Oh. Did I just step on a raisin on the kitchen floor? Or was it a little birdy bit? Really, I'd rather not know for sure.

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birth & death