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Drove to Home Depot to purchase cutting tool suitable for cutting bamboo, which is hard, dense, brittle, and hollow. Purchased hacksaw with wood cutting blade. Present: Greg. Made helpful contribution: Greg.
Bought breakfast tacos from Mamí and Papí taco restaurant.
Attempted to cut bamboo into stackable size but recently purchased hack saw proved useless. Broke bamboo into stackable chuncks and stacked by driveway for pick-up by dutiful and dependable city employees who may or may not pick it up sometime in the next month or not. Present: Greg, Katy, Buster, Pumpernickel, Junebug. Made helpful contribution: Greg.
Went to grocery store to purchase crawfish. Crawfish were sold out before noon. Cursed the manager of the seafood department, his children, and his children's children. Purchased shrimp instead. Forgot to purchase fancy-schmancy toilet paper (definition: >1 ply). Also purchased chocolate angel food cake, which turned out to be somewhat disappointing as it was simultaneously not chocolatey nor fluffy. Present: Greg. Made helpful contribution: Greg. Took a long-ass time deciding what would be as tasty as crawfish: Greg.
Went to liquor store which thanked us for our consistent patronage by stocking the liter sized bottle of Monopolova. Present: Greg. Made hilarious comment: Greg. (We're liter-sized people.)
Looked up recipe for chocolate martini.
Prepared Tequila Shrimp.
Ate Tequila Shrimp.
Scrubbed the stink off, got dressed, tarted self up for evening out. Went to local bar that features live music on weekends to listen to hot guy play rockabilly/country music. Failed to smack hot guy on ass in spite of encouragement from boyfriend. Regretted choice to not smack hot guy on ass (continuing as I write). Seriously, if you have the chance to go hear Jesse Dayton, go and give him a smack on the ass from me. You'll have fun and so will he.
Sunday
Went to church. Ha! Just kidding. Went to the Liberty Bar for brunch.
Annoyed the pedophile simply by standing in my front yard with my dogs. He retailiated by turning on a very loud recording that included Ravel's "Bolero," an instrumental version of a song from West Side Story (Gee, Officer Krupke, Krup you!), something by Aaron Copeland, and a lot of loud Spanish singing. The longer we stayed outside, the louder it got. We retaliated with "Damn, it feels good to be a gangster" and something else from the Office Space soundtrack, but then decided it would be more annoying to be unflustered by it, so we moved the Adirondack chairs from the backyard to the front and just sat out there with the dogs. The loud music played for hours, but we just sat outside drinking Screwdrivers and enjoying the day. Got sunburned on a cloudy day. Very, very, very redneck.
Ate pizza. Fell asleep on couch. Skipped tutoring.
Monday
Came to work. Regretted it.
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