There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


But not as smart as a pecan

An observation: My dogs are about as smart as a walnut. Which, coincidentally, is the size of their collective brain (they share one).

Yesterday, Katy found an empty snack-sized bag of Cheezy Poofs and was mining for crumbs in there. She had her snout shoved all of the way into the bag when Buster came around the corner and gave her that "Whatcha got?" look. She picked her head up, snout still encased in the foil bag, and growled at him to keep away from her precious.

I also found several books that she had eaten while I was gone - I knew about the hardback of Huck Finn, but yesterday I also found a paperback version of Huck Finn that had been likewise consumed. What's the deal, Katy Belle? Are you one of those conservative book-burner types who don't think Twain has a place in the classroom? She also started in on "Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure," which I'm in the middle of reading, so I had to hide it from her.

My kittens are growing up - this morning I interrupted some Arkansas-style brother-on-sister action during which the male was trying to figure out just how to fuck his sister, but not sure about how the equipment worked. He had an expression of mingled lust and irritation (if coal-black kittens have facial expressions, anyway).

I haven't seen my adult cats since I got back, which is starting to worry me a lot. I can understand them lying low for a while due to excessive commotion, but it's been days. This is precisely why I never wanted them to be outdoor cats, but once the dog door was installed, there was no keeping them in anymore. So I wander the streets at night, shaking a can of Pounce and calling their names - a version of la Lloranda.

I keep discovering weird shit in my house - not terribly bizarre, but just not how I left it. For example, my toaster is now ventilated to allow a view into the toaster as the bread toasts - don't know how that happened. The sea salt grinder was in the bathroom... WTF? The gate that had kept the dogs out of the cat box cafe was missing parts, which I found in two different rooms. I keep worrying that I'm going to stumble across an enormous vibrating dildo in a kitchen cabinet - and then, then, last night as I was going to bed I noticed that there were drips of candle wax on my sheets!! My housesitter had kinky candle sex in my bed and didn't change the sheets!! Aaaaagh! I hope I don't end up with a raging case of crotch crickets...

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