What I hadn’t noticed at all until recently was that a cat’s hind limbs have other important jobs, such as scratching the cat’s neck and face. Yesterday I was petting Junebug and started scratching his head. He seems to have some sort of kitty orgasm and shoved the right side of his face into my hand, demanding more, more, MORE scratching on that side. If I tried to switch to the other side of his head, he said, “MOW!” and shoved the right side against my hand again. Five minutes of hard scratching later, he was collapsed on his back on my bed with his little chicken wing-shaped stump pumping rhythmically in the air, his phantom leg scritch-scritching away at his neck and head, which have apparently been itchy for 5 long months.
So, Project Runway. What a disappointing finale. Daniel’s collection looked like random crap pulled out of someone’s closet circa 1988. Santino’s was bland. Chloe’s looked like ghetto prom. Too shiny. I should have just gone to Red Lobster with Andrae instead of watching. But afterward, there was the new version of Hell’s Kitchen, aka Project Cooking, or something like that (Top Chef), which includes this guy, who seems to be a fine chef with madd skilz, but appears to have Down Syndrome, also known as “that thing that Corky guy had.”
I sit right next to our Customer Service phone bank here at EduMart. All day long, I hear one side of a conversation with a very angry teacher on the other end of the phone. All day, I hear “Ma’am… Ma’am… Ma’am… I apologize… Ma’am…” Because we can’t stop fucking up. “Ma’am… Can you tell me the tracking number? Ma’am…” There has to be a better way to make a living. Next week, the next big shakedown is scheduled to occur and it has been bowel-wrenchingly painful to just sit and wait. “Ma’am… Put the cursor in the navigation bar… It’s the little arrow…” Click HERE for my resume.