Last weekend while I was working, the greggers paid two Mexican dudes to cut down all of the bamboo in my back yard. For some reason, this necessitated about 14 phone calls from him in which he gave me updates about the process and in which he was progressively drunker each time. By the time the Mexicans left with my cash, saw, and tree trimmer thingy, and without carrying even one stick of bamboo out of the back yard and into the front yard, he was quite shit-faced. I came home to all the lights on, a man snoring loudly on my couch, the oven on, and a yard full of bamboo (it's still there). There was a beer-can chicken on the island in the kitchen which hadn't been stolen by the dogs. After they dragged me around the neighborhood, I woke up Rip Van Winkle to shove some food into his drunken maw, but discovered that he had undercooked the chicken. By an HOUR. It was BLOODY.
The upshot of the bamboo removal is that suddenly I can see into my neighbors' back yards, and no one is happy about that situation since they currently have a view of a big pile of slowly browning bamboo and a lot of stalks sticking out of the ground. And I have to look at them giving my bamboo pile the stink-eye.
So, Kansas. Are you sure you really want to stick with that whole Intelligent Design thing?
So, young Herschel. You left EduMart for greener pastures, leaving me alone with the crazy people. The flying monkey in our department made sure to put your chair in my "office" for safe-keeping, even though you weren't really done sitting in it. He even escorted you out of the building because once you're no longer an EduMart employee (when are we going to get to be called associates or partners?) you can no longer be trusted to walk out by yourself. I am now left with very few people who understand irony and a guy who never comes to work. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
I found myself singing along to an Erasure song at the grocery store tonight... give a little respect to meeee... I'll be forever blue... I am an idiot, in case that had slipped past you...4 comments so far