There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


I need a 12-step program.

If you live near a Sam's, go there now. Do not finish reading this, do not turn off your computer, just go to Sam's. Go to the cheese aisle, section, bins, whatever. There you will find something called "Frying Cheese." This is not your breaded, deep-fried mozzarella-type fried cheese -- it's better. That's right, I said BETTER. It is from Wisconsin, of course (those happy-California-cow commercials lie!). It is actually a type of cheese called haloumi, but I suppose "Frying Cheese" is more attractive than a middle-eastern sounding name, especially in these trying times. The directions say to spray non-stick cooking spray in a frying pan, then fry the cheese (sliced 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick) for about 2 minutes per side (butter works too if you don't have Pam -- I am a total dairy SLUT!) and you end up with a mouth full of heaven. Go!

Speaking of butter, we tried to make homemade butter last weekend (don't ask why -- I don't recall but I am certain that there was not a really good or compelling reason) but it didn't turn out - it wouldn't separate and I ended up with a jar full of whipped cream. I made ice cream, too, and that didn't turn out either -- the texture is all wrong, so it was a disappointing culinary weekend except for the fabulous fajitas.

The ever-wonderful Pimp pointed out a beautiful thing about the Internet. We can disagree and still like each other!! We can have reasonable discourse and still not agree! wooo hoo! That is the excellent thing about the Internet and about people in general (although most of us suck in some major way). I agree with everything the pimp said about Kerry -- I didn't want to vote for him either! Luckily, my absentee ballot was lost between the US and the UK and I wasn't forced to make an upleasant choice.

Here are some other things that annoy me, but not enough to make the top 5: people who yell into their cell phones, people who take babies to the movies, and the woman in the story below.

So on the way to South Dakota last week, I was in line at the airport to do the self-check-in at the serv-yer-self kiosk at the airport. People were using two of the kiosks, leaving three of them open. There were two women in line in front of me, blocking access to the stations. All I could see of them was back-fat and grey hair. I waited for them to step up to a kiosk, but they didn't. More people got in line behind me, so I tapped one of them on the shoulder and politely asked "Is there a reason you're not using one of the open kiosks? There are several of them open now." They turned around to face me. One was holding a white cane and her eyes were closed. The other said, "We're waiting for a person to check us in." I said, "You're in the self service line. If you want a person, you have to go to the other line." These lines were clearly marked, by the way. The sighted one said, "Where is it?" I pointed to the line that said A Person Will Check You In Here (or something) and said, "It's right there." Then the blind woman started yelling at me. "That doesn't do me any good! I can't see where you're pointing!"

In no mood to be scolded by this particular dilletant, I responded, "I know. That's why I gestured so your companion could see me. I was showing HER where the line is. If you have to know, it's to your left. Now can I get to the self service kiosk, please?"

I know life is challenging in a visual world for a non-visual person but jeezy chreezy, shut the fuck up. When it's my turn to check in, get out of the damn way.

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