There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


The sort of nonsense up with which I don't mind putting.

Ode to a Three-Day Weekend

Oh, three-day weekend, how I do long for thee.
I long to sleep late, perhaps beneath a tree.
I yearn to nap on my new bed
With my favorite idiot next to my head.
I can't remember why we celebrate Memorial Day,
But still, I'm glad, anyway.

Ahhh, sweet release. Healing elixir of relief mixed with a lack of anger. My nemesis, my bête noir, my burgeoning ulcer, my non-working co-worker has begun to meet his end. Today he was told to put himself on FMLA until he can drag his sorry ass in to work and actually do something productive. Of course, this is just the beginning, but sweet mother of mystery, it has been a long time coming.

10:00 a.m.: New couch delivered
10:05 a.m.: Left for work
Anyone want to wager whether or not there's a hole chewed in my new couch when I arrive home?

A word (or two) about dangling prepositions: They are allowed.

I endured a long and drunken argument from some people last weekend about this topic and he just. wouldn't. let. it. go. I showed him source after source that stated that it is fine to dangle a preposition every now and then, especially in order to avoid an awkward sentence. I got back statements like "I never even heard of Phil Zixler, but my english teacher told me it was bad." (This statement was in response to a book by William Zinsser, a well-known writer and editor, but not as well-known as someone's tenth grade english teacher, apparently.) Then the rest of the weekend, I was accused of just making up rules to suit how I wanted language to be. Maybe since it's a long weekend, we can fight about misplaced modifiers...

Happy Long Weekend, everyone except retail workers!!

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birth & death