There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Do me, Frodo!

So, inspired by yeahimadork's hilarious tale of the gay yellow pages, I was going to write an entry about my creepy Christian eye doctor, how he's the second creepy Christian eye doctor I've had since I moved here, and how I need to go see him because I THINK I'M GOING BLIND, but then I went and talked to the girl who house-sat for me when I was in the UK. She is a secretary -- umm, I mean Administrative Assistant -- and of course, they know all of the good stuff. She gave me some scoop that sent my impending blindness and my mild case of Montezuma's Revenge right to the back burner. It is simply far too funny.

So, there's this dude who until recently worked here at EduMart. He looks kind of like a hobbit -- short, round, bald, beardy. He's very quiet and soft-spoken and I never got to know him very well because I work over in the stupid wing of EduMart. So he is also a former Mormon who drinks and smokes. He worked here for a while, then recently moved on over to EduTech. He is also getting divorced and is into the whole wife-swapping scene, although I guess that won't work so well without the currency needed, i.e., a wife.

So this wife of his (she still booty calls him a lot) sends out an email of the kids (five of them! five kids, not five emails!) to friends and family. One of the recipients is the secretary aforementioned. She got the email at work, doo de doo, opened it up, like you do, la di dah, sees the pix of the kids, then notices that there's a link at the bottom of the email. So she clicks the link like Pavlov's web surfer, and lo and behold, up pops the wife's blog, in which she's posted pictures of herself, nekkid. Pictures of the kids, now here's where they came from.

So the secretary panics because here at EduMart, Big Brother is always watching where you go on the InterWeb, and closes the link as fast as she can, but then forwards the original email on to her home account. She perused the blog a bit more (ahem) deeply when she got home and found many many many nekkid pictures of Mrs. Baggins in many positions. She also found a picture of Mrs. Baggins' naughty bits with Mr. Baggins' finger inserted therein. She thought "Hey, I recognize that finger!"

People are weird.

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