There are no bad owners, only bad dogs

2005-05-17

Bored, boreder, boredest

OK, I'm tired of staying home from work. I'm not normal! Staying home is very dull.

Yesterday's Done List:

5 loads laundry
Curtain rods installed in monkey's room
Curtains hung on said rods
Broken boards on front walkway replaced
Some other crap

I also went to Target (it's like crack) and got a lot of crap for the monkey's room. When I got home and got back to work, Katy was jealous about not being the center of attention so she began systematically stealing things from the Target bags. I found a large package of 9 V batteries in the driveway and a package of light bulbs on the deck.

The always charming SaruSan reminds me of the one aspect of my marriage that I miss: the dinnertime stories of all of the disgusting things each of us had touched/seen/done during the day. My stories dealt with critters, his with people. Open wounds covered in maggots, bodies infested with various vermin, neglected elders with nails so overgrown they turned back in to the flesh, various and sundry stuff removed from ear canals and nasal passages, foreign objects surgically removed from stomachs... Youngsters with collars made of clothesline -- the youngster had grown, and the clothesline hadn't, causing a deep wound that circumscribed the neck, requiring surgery to remove the rope, leaving a scar that made the dog look as though he'd had a head transplant... The moral of the story was always that people are stupid and, generally speaking, suck.

It appears that we've stolen yet another stupid reality show from the UK. There, it's called Strictly Come Dancing (I think). Here, it will be called Celebrity Something about Dancing or Something Like That. It was the dumbest thing I'd ever seen there, but I'm quite certain that here we'll find a way to make it even dumber and more tacky.

I think I'm going to go to work later. I wonder if I'll get in trouble for going in to work when I'm supposed to be home?

In the past week, I've had to admonish Katy for barking at:

Patio furniture
A hose
A tree stump
One of those stupid Spurs flags that people put on their cars UPDATE: So far this morning, Katy has chewed up a bottle of Prozac (hope some went in) and taken a bar of soap out to the driveway.

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