There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Is it Friday yet? Why not?

Proof, if you will, of the absolute factivity of my femaleness and absolute lack of maleness:

On Sunday afternoon, I bought a small shelf stereo system to replace the total absence of a stereo that I already owned, or didn't own. I put it together last night during my assembly frenzy (coffee table and end table included in frenzy) and plugged it in. The lights came on, as they should, because I am a reasonably good assembler.

Now, here is the freakishly odd part. The part that proves that I'm not a cross-dressing man (although, frankly, I don't think that thought ever occurred to anyone anyway, but I might just be really, really good at cross-dressing): I didn't actually turn the power on and put CDs into it until this morning.

That's right. I have a new electronic noise-making device but I didn't feel the need to rattle the windows. Is that the most feminine thing you've ever heard??

I recently have been corrected for misusing and confusing the terms English and British. I believe that Ozzies probably have it quite right when they call everyone who is either British or English a pommy bastard. It just cuts down on the confusion. By the way, in my usual ignorance of the scale that these insults fall on, I don't know if that was mildly silly, like kack, or closer to the "fuck" end of the scale. I'm pants at that. Ha!

We do these ridiculous presentations here at EduMart called "Lunch and Learns." You bring your lunch and listen to some fathead weenie blather on and on about crap. That's the learn part. Today I am that fathead weenie. My goal is to send all of the attendees back out into the world a little bit dumber than they were when they came in. I hate doing presentations. You'd think that would be odd for a teacher, because teachers speak in front of groups and present things every day. The difference is in the relative status of speaker to group. If you can't send your audience to detention, you feel powerless. If you can't mock and ridicule your audience, then presenting is no longer fun. Just kidding. I only mocked and ridiculed my students in ways that they wouldn't get until years later. Time release humiliation.

Then later on, there's a "Think and Drink" presentation for Tina's birfday. Happy Birfday, Tina!

3 comments so far

birth & death