There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


And then a big train went into a tunnel.

Well, I'm typing like a demon because it's after 5 and I'm not coming to work tomorrow.

Two things: My dogs love to make out with each other. To make out, it's important that one dog be stationed on a higher plane that the other so their mouths meet just right. Couch or bed are preferred. Short dog on couch, tall dog on floor. Check. Next, dogs should open their mouths really wide and start making Wookiee sounds. Those sounds should be so loud that you can't talk on the phone when you're in the same room as the making-out dogs. The sounds should also sometimes resemble grackles or the scraping of metal on metal. Then the dogs should start clacking their teeth together. No, not one dog clacking his or her upper teeth against his or her lower set, but the upper set of one dog's teeth against the upper set of the other dog's teeth. This noise should be bowel-wrenchingly loud, making one feel one's own teeth cracking. Then, for reasons unexplainable (until today when Internet yielded another secret), the dogs should both begin sneezing. They should alternate making out (rowwrgrrwaaahclackyclacky) with sneezing fits. Today's minuitia: Dogs sneeze when playing to signal to the other dog(s) that it's still playing, it's not serious fighting. Also, (bonus minutia!!) they yawn in order to calm themselves when they are nervous or to calm other nearby animals. So, rowwrgrrwaaahclackyclacky achoo-achoo.

Thing number two: VERY bizarre dream last night. I dreamed that Greg and I were going to get married but that it was very impromptu (seemed to be in Marrakesh or somewhere exotic). Greg backed out at the last minute and I tried to call him but I was using a Swiss Army knife so I couldn't get through. My ex mother-in-law was there because somehow Greg had become my ex husband's brother. Then I finally called Greg on a real phone, and told him I didn't want to get married either. I put on my wedding dress anyway, which was some cotton contraption that was a cross between a Mexican wedding dress and a Bo Peep outfit with the long ruffled bloomers underneath. Greg and I went out and had dinner with me wearing this abomination of a dress and we lived happily ever after. No, I haven't changed the dosage on my medication recently.

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