There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Kelly's grammar corner II

This is for Andy and because I've had a terribly relaxing weekend.

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

First, this question is not grammatically correct. "Amount" is a collective noun and should only be used with things that cannot be enumerated, like the amount of sand on a beach or the amount of water in the ocean. Since the number of music files on a computer is both finite and definable, this question should ask "What is the total number of music files on your computer?"

That number would be either 0 or best stated as "I don't know -- I don't download music. My monkey may have some music files on the computer, but they would be things that I would have to be forced to listen to."

2. What are the last cdís you have bought (or been given.)

More problems here. This is a question, so where is the question mark? Also, punctuation that belongs to the whole sentence should be placed on the outside of the parentheses. The apostrophe usually indicates possession and is frowned upon in usage as a plural. To make the pluralization of cd clear, it would be better to capitalize it and keep the plural s lower case: CDs.

The last CDs I was given were from the greggers and included Bob Schneider, The Old 97s (or Old 79s if you are dyslexic), Josh Joplin, Lyle Lovett, Willie Nelson, and Bob Marley.

3. What is the Last Song you Listened to Before taking this survey?

Why the sudden switch to title case? All of these unnecessary capital letters are making me itch.

I can't honestly remember the last song I listened to because I was listening to Radio 1, which plays a lot of disposable BritPop, like LaMar and Girls Aloud. The last song I listened to on purpose was "That's Right, You're Not from Texas" by my home slice Lyle.

4. What are 5 songs you listen to often or that mean a lot to you?

This is pretty good, although the most commonly accepted rule for spelling out numerals says that you spell out anything under 10.

I would have to say that it depends on my mood. If I need energy to clean the house, for example, nothing beats Rick Astley or Taylor Dayne.

I am incapable of not singing along to: Kentucky Rain by Elvis, Cryin' by Roy Orbison, Afternoon Delight by the Starland Vocal Band, Temptation Eyes by some people, and I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor.

My musical influences were clearly dominated by gay men.

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