There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Like a baby's arm

It's like the old monkeys with typewriters theorem: Someone actually put computer keyboards in macaque environments at a zoo to see if they would eventually peck out a word or two of Shakespeare. They did not . I'm pretty sure someone spent a lot of time digging poop out of the keyboard after that. But that's not my point.

So if monkeys can write Shakespearean sonnets, a meeting could actually have one moment of levity. I actually sat through a three-hour meeting today in which someone said something entertaining. Usually three-hour meetings are the stuff of torture and dark mischief. The result is usually drivel and dross and ennui that could kill an elephant. Meetings are a creation of the dark lord himself, and if you pay attention, sometimes you can see his horned shadow just out of the corner of your eye. When you turn to look directly at him, of course no one is there, but you can smell just a whiff of sulfur, and maybe some brimstone and feel a chill move down your back. This one was frequently like that, but at some point a lively discussion was had about workflow, resources (well, not that lively), workload, etc. One of my team members is named Dik and he is a techie programming kind of whiz kid (also an accomplished doodler). His workload has tripled because they really need to hire someone to help him, but you know how that goes. He's not dead yet, so let's just give him more to do!

So this workload discussion went something like this:

"Blah blah blah that's something Dik will have to do."

Response: "Well, the problem there is that we only have one Dik."

Silence for a brief moment, then cackly giggling for the next half hour.

Dik calmly stated later that having only one dick had caused him problems his whole life.

Personally, I'm kind of glad about the whole "one per customer" rule.

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birth & death