There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Chocolate labs don't really taste like chocolate: hard lesson to learn

Each and every time I think that I have been shat upon for the last time, it happens again.

"Please, ma'am, will you kindly shit on me again? I'd be so pleased and happy if you would share yourself with me in this most personal way."

My UK boss has decided that I cannot go to Hawaii after all, because there's just tooo much to be done here. That's not really the problem, because it's true. In spite of the fact that I recently realized that the reason I feel so lethargic all of the time is that I never see the sun anymore.

Setting: Oxford, lunchtime, office building.

Me: Hey, you guys, let's go outside for lunch so we can watch the sun set!

I was hoping to get some serious full-spectrum action so that maybe I can feel like a normal-ish human being again, but nope, none for me.

But, as I have said, that is not the real issue here. The real issue is that I was told this by my US boss just as an aside. Oh, and by the way, you're not going to Hawaii after all. The principal people here discussing this did not have the decency, humanity, or grace to discuss this with me, or to ask me how I felt, or to tell me what the decision was.

I'm grinding my teeth at the moment because I don't have a pillow to strangle.

In other "news," I'm trying to find a source for cheap stainless steel extra large utility tubs. Big enough to hold a lab. Apparently you can get such a thing at a restaurant supply house for like a thousand dollars. Hahahaha! I have debt, I have tuition, I don't need to bathe my dog that often. A regular cheap-o bath tub is like $100. It can sit on a plywood platform for the $900 difference. I could probably get a bath tub at a garage sale for $50. Really, you wouldn't believe what people sell at garage sales in San Antonio. I think you could probably find a cadaver or a pope hat if you tried hard enough.

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birth & death