There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Election? What election?

Sometimes different is good. Sometimes it's bad. Sometimes it's just plain fucking weird.

Some things should not be different even if you're in a different place. Like soap. How can soap vary from culture to culture? It's fucking soap. It can be defined. It shouldn't have a lot of variables. It should foam up when you go scrubby-scrubby with it. It should make you clean. It should never, ever smell like bacon.

Now, I read some Little House on the Prairie books when I was a kid, just like everyone else. So I know how they make soap (and butter! And I know that they used to blow the pig's bladder up like a balloon and let the kids play with it! Gross!). Rendered animal fat, lye, yeah, yeah. But I also know that society has made a few improvements since those days, one of which is assuring that soap never smells like pork or pork byproducts. Yet, if I were to sniff any part of myself now (hah! Just did!), I would smell a lot like bacon. Not good like bacon, like IHOP at any time of the day or night, but bad like bacon. What's next? Will I start seeing pale 9-year old children working as chimney sweeps? Will the orphan train pass through town?

When the presidential debates were happening in the US, there wasn't much news about it here. I was even listening for it, because I like it when W sounds like a big dope. So I watched the morning news on BBC1, waiting for an insightful, in depth analysis of the debate, of the substance and the style. But Tony Blair had made a speech a couple of days before, and that's all anyone was talking about. They did tag on a tiny bit of news from the states at the end of the broadcast, though. Of all the stuff that happened in the US (like fucking PRESIDENTIAL debates!), they chose to focus on two stories. 1) Smoke is coming from Mt. Saint Helens again. 2) There was a big shark in a bay in Massachusetts.

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