There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Hotel San Jose

The only difference between the mall on Sunday and hell is… Trick question!! There is no difference at all!! People wandering around aimlessly, stopping for no apparent reason, purposeless – all elements of HELL! I personally have no use for a snot-faced toddler, but there were a lot of them wandering around there unattended. I think I could have taken one and the owners of the toddler would have been home before they realized that their snot factory was missing.

The weekend started on Thursday, as all weekends should. We drove up to Austin with Katy and Buster and stayed at the San Jose Hotel. We started with a bottle of wine and the cheese plate (yay!) and continued onward with another bottle of wine (yay!). After so much delicious cheese, we weren’t really hungry, so we went up the street to Guero’s, which makes a kick-ass Margarita. And they kicked my ass. But I didn’t know it right away. We were in the Continental Club when I figured out just how drunk I was. Greg went to the bathroom, and says that when he came back, I was clutching the cigarette machine. That’s when I knew my ass had been kicked. At some point during this, we took the dogs for a walk. We hadn’t realized that we were so close to the Texas School for the Deaf. Katy and Buster bonded with a deaf person through the fence.

So, after we left the Continental, we went back to the room. The next thing I knew, I woke up at 6 a.m., still wearing my clothes. Back to sleep. Eventually, we realized that the dogs would need a walk, so we got ready to take them. Katy found Buster’s pig ear from the night before (he doesn’t usually eat them – he uses them to torture her: “You ate yours and I still have mine, ha ha.”) just as we were getting ready to go, and she was trying to eat it very quickly before we left. She couldn’t eat it fast enough, so she decided to take it with her. We headed back toward the school for the deaf, not realizing that it sits on about 7 billion acres. We thought we’d go a couple of blocks, turn, turn, head back, but noooo. We just kept walking and walking, all the while with Katy carrying this disgusting, partially reconstituted pig ear. I tried to take it away from her, but she insisted on having it back. I didn’t argue, because after being chewed for a while, they stop being hard and crunchy and turn back into flesh. Ewww. At one point we went past a small group of bus drivers for the school. One of them looked at Katy and said, “He ain’t givin’ up that ear, is he?” She kept trying to eat it while we were walking, and she eventually got it all down. By the time we got back to the hotel, we were all beat. Some of us were beat and hung over. So we decided to nap until check-out time. We napped somewhat inefficiently because every time someone walked anywhere near our room, Buster barked. Nap. Bark. Nap. Bark. Eventually he settled down. Then one of the housekeeping staff just walked into our room and Buster just looked at her. Hmmm.

The rest of the weekend was just fun and relaxing and nice. We went to see Garden State, which very well may be my new favorite movie.

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