There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Weeee weee weeee!

Every so often I do something so stupid and weird that I'm afraid to tell people about it because I think they'll think that I just made it up to get the attention. This is something an ex-friend of mine has frequently done (the one who told my boss that I was the person who drove into the wall near the boss's house). One day on, StrongBad and the Cheat were having a light-switch rave. That afternoon, this person claimed that when she was in junior high, they used to have light-switch raves. Give me a friggin' break! When she was in junior high, raves hadn't been invented! They might have had a hoe-down or a barn-raising, but no raves. Old skank.

Anyhooo. So I was just standing in someone else's cube, just now, discussing serious bidness with serious professionals (it sounded pretty much like this: "blahblahblah client blah blah sales blahblah.") and I reached up to rub my neck and straighten my collar and I felt that my shirt tags were out. Then I realized that they were out because I had my shirt on inside-out. I had been at work for a full hour and a half, been down to the crapeteria for a delicious lightly toasted bagel, chatted with Gena for a good 10 minutes, and SHE NEVER TOLD ME THAT I WAS AT WORK WITH MY CLOTHES ON INSIDE OUT. I was talking to people about serious assessment business, trying to sound like a licensed professional, contributing to the blahblah, and NOT ONE PERSON said to me "Hey, moron, your clothes are on inside out." Well, screw all of you.

I thought that the big event of the day was going to be that birds crapped purple on my windshield, but not being able to dress myself is more eventful than that.

Katy and Buster spent 5 minutes this morning looking for another rat to fling. "Weee-wweeee-weeee!" it would scream as it tumbled through the air. They were not successful.

Greg thinks that if someone came up with a way to make your poop fizzy when it hits the water, they would make a million dollars from it. Imagine the bubbly fizzy sounds and the brown bubbles. Weeee. So far, all we've come up with is swallowing whole Pop Rocks and hoping that they reach critical mass when they are ejected. They might have to be put in gel capsules. Sometimes he yells from the bathroom "Come and look!! It's fizzing!!" And I run in there, hoping to see fizzy poop, but all I see is boring normal turds. I'm only going to fall for that one 5 or 6 more times before I catch on.

To all of those who (like me) are addicted to dairy products (pattianne, this means you), I found a Korean company that makes cheese candy. That's right!! That's what I said! And their snappy advertising says it all: "Even a confectionary can be special if it is made with the right spirit.." And yes, they also included the very effective double punctuation.

0 comments so far

birth & death