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Things Greg hates about San Antonio

Greg hates San Antonio for multiple reasons. "THIS is what's wrong with San Antonio," is a frequent phrase heard yelled by him in a variety of situations. Some of those situations are not necessarily San Antonio-specific -- I'm pretty sure that in Houston, fat people park their grocery cart in the middle of the aisle and give you the stink-eye from under their overstuffed, droopy eyelids when you try to sqeeze past them. Believe it or not, it may even happen in Wisconsin. But probably not. Another non-SA-specific flaw is the tendency of people in any retail situation to wander around like they are alone in an autistic world.

The stuff that really gets him, though, is stuff that I haven't seen happen in too many other places. For example, let's take an evening recently when we went out to dine following a hilarious evening with Ron White. And a lot of other people. We were sitting in the restaurant/bar, and there was a crowd (perhaps even a bevy) of buxom and attractive young women in the bar area. They had clearly spent hours and hours on the whole package -- hair, makeup, tan, nails, clothes, surgery, shoes -- and they were certain that everyone in the place was checking them out. Which they were. Because, you know, they clearly wanted the attention. How do I know that? Well, the white tank top with no undergarment beneath it made a statement. It said, "There are areolae here and you can look at them all you want."

So, some guys who were above average in attractiveness approached these women and began chatting them up, as the Brits say. The girls soon had their backs turned to the boys, who looked sheepish and ashamed at their own foolishness. More tried -- all were rebuffed.

Where else in the world can you go (maybe Finland, I guess) to have some cocktails and be gorgeous and expect NO ONE to come and talk to you?? If you want NO ONE to talk to you, why not stay home and drink?

In other San Antonio news , it seems that Brackenridge park is finally getting some renovation work. So what do people do? They complain about it! What is their complaint? That they have to get up off their fat asses and WALK from the car to the picnic table, instead of being able to drive up to the picnic table. Do you know what happens when you can't drive up to your picnic table? You get shady characters and an unclean element (hikers) in your park. That's right -- I said it. Hikers. You get hikers in your park. Do you know who that disturbs? The people who have gone to that park for decades in order to SORT THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE'S TRASH. Those people are mad because the park will now attract the dreaded hikers.

Maybe Greg is right.

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