There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Things my dog has eaten

Things my dog has eaten

1. a couch

2. another couch

3. the tags from many t-shirts, neatly nibbled off at the seam

4. the cover of several rented dvds

5. too many shoes to count

6. half a taco found on a home construction site

7. the wrapper from said taco

8. two sticks of butter (same day)

9. one ˝ pound block of cheese

10. the handle of my hairbrush

11. a wad of hair from my hairbrush (got stuck in her butt when she was pooping—had to be manually removed by me)

12. a plastic bag full of cat poop

13. cat poop not contained in a plastic bag

14. the crotch of multiple underwears

15. the crotch of multiple boxer shorts

16. the armpit area of several brassieres

17. used feminine products

18. paper towels used to wrap up and discard the afterbirth produced when a stray cat gave birth to three kittens in my garage

19. the aforementioned afterbirth

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birth & death