There are no bad owners, only bad dogs


Plotting Carl's downfall

This morning I noticed that Good Neighbor Carl was out at 7:30 a.m. having a yard sale. I walk past his house regularly lately, just to piss him off. I'm hoping he'll launch himself outside wearing a Speedo and screaming at me, and that when he does, I'll finally have a scathing comeback for him.

I thought that Friday was an odd day for a garage sale, but as I walked past, someone pulled up to browse through his accumulated crap. I heard him telling his shopper that he "has a place out West" and that's why he's selling all his junk.

I hope that Carl is not moving "out West" just to avoid dogs, because I'm pretty sure that they have dogs "out West," too.

It seems that time is short and revenge will have to happen soon.

If I were any good at planning things, I would already have the following weekend necessities:

1) The big jug of Monopolova in the freezer

2) The $6.99 tub of frozen Cosmopolitans from Target (you add the vodka and intense cold, they supply the powder and goo)

I have discovered that, contrary to what I have been told, Fruit Roll-ups are not the best bait to use in a rat trap. In the past two days, I have caught two rats with only one Cheeto. One! They're reusable!

0 comments so far

birth & death