There are no bad owners, only bad dogs

2006-07-06

What Would Buster Do?

Places I let my dogs pee this morning:

On a crippled child
On several statues depicting the baby Jesus
On orphans from war-torn nations
On an endangered species

I am so glad there weren’t any bushes around.

“Do you let your dogs pee on YOUR bushes?”

“Yes. I would also allow them to pee on your face, you syphilitic old harpy.”

In my usual style, I left out the best bits of yesterday’s encounter:

1) The syphilitic old harpy in the PT Loser had a big “W” sticker on her car and has a big cross attached to the side of her house. Go figure. What Would Jesus Do? I think he’d start by vaporizing W and ending this awful war instead of worrying about some shrubbery. Maybe that’s what the obsession over bushes is about. Maybe it’s bushes with a capital B.
2) When she first pulled up to me, Buster, ever over-friendly, put his paws up on her car and stuck his head into the passenger window, wagging his tail. Ha ha. That, sir, is what Jesus would do. If he had a tail.

EduMart is now blocking GoogleTalk, making all forms of at-work IMing very, very difficult. You suck, EduMart!

I have noticed recently that almost all of the people who stumble in here via a search engine are looking for information related to something their dog has eaten. Are cockroaches bad for dogs? Are marshmallows bad for dogs? Here’s my expert opinion: Unless it has a skull and crossbones on the label, it’s probably going to be OK. You might have some squishy poo to deal with for a while. Just don’t, whatever you do, let your dogs pee on Mimi Cavender’s bushes, for fuck’s sake! We’re not savages, after all!

This morning I tried to take a picture of my new favorite spider, but every time I came close with the camera she darted behind the door jamb. She is my favorite because she is currently sucking the essence out of a cockroach. This is why you should never kill a spider.

In the absence of Spider Dining on Roach pictures (sigh), here are some others.

Remember that time the greggers bought me a painting in a bar? This is why. See the resemblance? Oh, by the way, the dog is on the right.

Same dog, really tired.


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birth & death