There are no bad owners, only bad dogs

2006-03-17

Devil Dogs: Hounds from Heck!!

This morning, two bad dogs were mistaken for two rabid, slavering, evil, murderous hell-hounds. It’s an easy mistake to make – if you’re crazy. They began their journey to the Dark Side during Crazy Front Yard Game, at which time Katy left the yard to go scratch on the screen door of Young Avram, on whom she (and Buster) has developed a crush. So he came outside in his jammies to get punched in the balls by Katy. When she was disciplined for the ball punching, she first rolled onto her back, then started to dig a hole. Buster, in the meantime, let the lipstick out (see the aforementioned crush – Buster’s crushes are not gender-dependent, apparently) (or Young Avram is more feminine than I realize), then continued working on the hole. Suddenly, in the midst of this regular, garden-variety bad, the two bad dogs took off running down the street at top speed, which can only mean one thing: interloper.

Sure enough, a woman was walking her dog past my house. Katy and Buster have one thought when they see other dogs: “PLAY!!” The lady seemed to misunderstand and interpreted their thought as “KILL!!” So instead of saying, “Hi, doggies,” or something else equally appropriate, she ran in circles and screamed. The bad dogs were confused by this, and milled around a bit during my approach, then Buster tried to bite Katy, then they heeded my commands to go home. All the while, the running in circles, the screaming. It was quite bizarre. I know that my dogs were bad, but such an odd reaction.

Then Young Avram and I discussed whether or not his placement of birdfeeders outside his kitchen windows was wise or not. I voted for not, seeing as “birdfeeder” is synonymous with “catfeeder” if you live next door to Pumpernickel, killing machine.

In other news, I have been trying to figure out some way to work this phrase into a conversation with Crazy WheelChair Lady:

“But you ARE in that wheelchair, Blanche, you are!”


Really, if you’ve never seen “What Ever Happened to Baby Jane,” rent it now. Now, I said!!


I am glad that others share my opinion about To Kill a Mockingbird. I forgot to mention previously that the greggers and I had this conversation about TKAM and George Clooney while we were on our 2nd or 3rd vodka tonic, and it evolved into him encouraging me to get in touch with George Clooney and tell him my idea. I think Clooney has people who prevent this sort of thing from happening. Anyhoo, I also realized that including Robert Duvall in the cast would be a perfect touch – perhaps as the cigar-eating judge. Then we discussed, as Hiss already mentioned, the many inappropriate ways Hollywood would fuck it up. While Tom Cruise as Atticus would truly be awful, we came up with a few ourselves: Dakota Fanning as Scout, Jessica Simpson as Mayella Ewell (that would be hilarious), Gary Coleman as Tom Robinson (What you talkin’ ‘bout, Finch?).

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