journal
contact
credits
View My Stats, bitch.
It is reality TV. I have firmly established my mild retardation through my endless (almost) fascination with the world of reality TV (there are a few things that even I won�t watch, such as non-celebrity Fear Factor).
It is ice skating. I REMEMBER when everyone in the universe had a Dorothy Hammil haircut � the wedge, they called it. Makes fat girls look fatter, I called it. Sassy. Stylish. She�s baaaack. I also remember when Tai Babilonia and Randy Gardner were the shizznit. She�s still gorgeous! Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. Trash + Teeth.
It is gay. It is gaylicious. It skips across my consciousness wearing high heels and pig tails. It is Kurt Browning. It is not Brian Boitano or some dude named Crispin or Robin, but it�s pretty stinkin� gay, and I love that.
It is Bruce Jenner. Have you seen Bruce Jenner lately? He looks a lot like Jocelyn Wildenstein crossed with some suburban soccer mom (with a Dorothy Hammil haircut!). Stretched so tight. So scary. So driving a mini van.
Debbie Gibson? Playboy? Trainwreck?
You might think that Todd Bridges would be the piece of resistance, but you�d be wrong, because you would have completely discounted the hypnotic qualities of Dave Coulier. I can�t look at him, can not, can�t can�t look at him without imagining Alanis Morrisette attached to his crotch. Orally, I mean. You ought to know. Or really, none of us ought to know, because, Alanis, what the fuck? Hello?
So, anyhoo. That was the high point of my day, because I spent the rest of the day dealing with Crappy Online University and crazy people.
The crazy lady from yesterday seemed to come to a head today and to spew pus over the rest of us. She referred to people as egomaniacs. She yelled at an African woman because she wasn�t American (�That�s not how we do it here.�). She invoked the edumication she had accumulated over the years by saying some crap about, and I quote, �Bloom�s Toxicology.� I so wish I was kidding. She stomped out in a huff, then came back.
Then the teacher, the guy who is supposed to be imparting knowledge unto us, said something about abacus-y. And I had a hard time figuring out what the hell an ancient Chinese counting and ciphering device had to do with anything. Turns out he was trying to say �advocacy.� I should have axed!