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View My Stats, bitch.
When I got home yesterday, there was a really BIG package waiting for me on my front steps (no, it wasn't the greggers). It contained one of those organ donor coolers which was packed full of cheesey goodness. I had curds and an apple for dinner, and curds and toast for breakfast. If I do get "bound up," as they do say in Wisconsin, all I have to do is eat something with MSG in it and I will become a high velocity weapon of mass destruction. I'll probably crack the porcelain bowl with my power.
I painted some furniture yesterday and a kitten walked in the wet paint only once. Not bad. I expected much worse behavior, but apparently they were off killing armadilloes and coyotes. I expect to find a disemboweled carcass of a mailman in my living room one of these days. It's the direction things are going in Chez les Chiens Mechants.
The guy with NO INSIDE VOICE IS TALKING ON HIS CELL PHONE AND PACING BACK AND FORTH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY CUBE WALL. He is having some sort of versioning problem and someone ordered the wrong stuff. I am about to go kick his ass. OK, I'm back. That was easy. He was wearing a "salmon" shirt and had just been exfoliated, so it wasn't much of a challenge. My foot, which was in his ass, now smells of vanilla.
Oooh. Now someone else is on the other side of my cube wall, doing the whisper-yell. "Why didn't you tell me?" he queries. "Why don't I know when this is going on?" Crap. He was just passing through and I'll never know what was going on and who didn't tell him about it.
The two-week bacchanalian tacky-fest that is known as Fiesta is about to begin in San Antonio. There are all kinds of parades and events, but it all really boils down to a lot of fat people boozing it up. So I may not update for a while.
Just kidding! I can eat, drink, and update all at the same time.
There are parades on the "river," big debutante-type parties, street fairs, etc., but my favorite parade is the King William parade because it usually features a lot of drag queens and they can put on a parade better than anyone. I'll look for Andy there.
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