Or, Rascals can be "borrowed" from our HR department, since there are so many people at work who are "handicapped" by their obesity. That's right! Being fat is now a handicap that gains you extra rights under the law! In addition to gaining you extra portions of potato salad and peach cobbler, you now get to park closer to the door so you can waddle in and sit on your scooter to avoid walking anywhere, because it's hard to walk when you're fat! It's hard for me to think when I'm drunk, so I guess I should get a blue hangy tag for my car so I can park closer to the door of the drinking establishment -- that way I can find my car more easily! Wow! Maybe I am also eligible for a helper monkey who can keep me from losing my purse when I'm drunk! Where's the ACLU when I need them?
In a related note, Greg seems to have forgotten the Tour de Pants, which I invented a full 3 years ago. The person who gets laid first gets the yellow jersey.0 comments so far